It's Been Awhile...

...since I looked at Mr Welch.

1550. The Dirty Harry 'Feeling Lucky Punk' speech doesn't work with a longbow.

1582. I need to stop telling new players bards were the original prestige class.

1599. There is no prize for having the prettiest werewolf.

1603. I am not El Vago the Gay Blade.  (Should we make an exception for Randy?)

1612. There is no such thing as Boobs +1.  (Maybe that's why Jon quit)

1620. I will not use the druid's chakram to play frisbee with his dire wolf.

1636. Animals native to Australia are not eligible for my druid's companion.

1653. The power gamer would appreciate me not bringing the book with the rule he is grotesquely abusing.

1662. No starting a mosh pit in a leper colony.

1671. Before entering the dungeon I will take off the "I'm with tasty -->" tabard.

1682. Snufficate is not a real way to kill somebody.  (...again, exception for Randy?)

1694. Debauchery is not a stat.

1709. Even if its really cool, no throwing dry ice on the water weird.

1721. The minute the GM figures out my Inquisitor is Lennie Briscoe, he dies.  (Exception for Bruce?)

1752. No summoning octopi to make the sleeping paladin explain all the hickies.

1790. Can't find the villain just by casting power word stun in the bar and see who's still standing.  (I've done this)

1864. Even if paladin starts with P and that rhymes with T, it doesn't stand for trouble.
1865. No wasting Music Man references on a 10th grader.

1878. Elves are not all backstabbing, untrustworthy weasels, but you never hear about a dark gnome do you?

1896. Even if they have blond hair, blue eyes and are proud of their physical perfection, Aasimir don't appreciate Seig Heils.

1958. Dwarven breast milk is not 180 proof.

2010.  Improved tax evasion is not a real feat.

2032.  If I ever trick the DM into telling us the only way to make money mining is to work the shaft, all my characters die.  Not just in this game either.

2070. The spell is "Heat Metal", not "Detect Piercings".

2083.  'Fifty Shades of Grey Dwarves' is not the new Duergar sourcebook.

2129.  I will refer to the other player's sidekick by her name and not just "Your make believe Chinese lesbian girlfriend."

2141.  After clearing out the dungeon, I won't animate all the dead orcs and leave behind the copper pieces so the next party won't be totally disappointed.

2153. The "fur" and "lust" domains shall never meet.  (Exception for BOB)